Today I feel like blogging. Which isn't unusual in any sort of way other than I'm actually going to write some things down.

2011 has had a strange start for me. I wasn't really looking forward to this starting so maybe that had something to do with it. It's an odd number year as well which just doesn't sit well with me either. I hate odd numbers. I'm not really sure how to explain what I've been feeling about this year/the near future but I think anything opposite of optimistic would cover it.

This is year is going to be a very busy one. We have Mia's 1st birthday coming up at the end of the month on the 27th. Kailey's birthday and Valentines two weeks later. Then March is packed with my little sister's b-day, my birth daughter's b-day, my father in-law's b-day, and my Mom's b-day. Then I'm due to have our 4th baby on May 1st which means he/she will probably come at the end of April and then two weeks later we'll have mother's day and Clint's b-day.

My life is overwhelming enough as is and the fact that we have so much going on right now just puts me over the edge. Which isn't good. I shut down and stop dealing when I get to this point. Only now I CAN'T shut down and stop dealing because everything that is happening is happening to everyone I love and I can't bear to disappointment any of them. I guess this is the enduring part that is spoken of so tenderly in the scriptures.

On different note just before the new year I had a couple of impressions from the Lord that I ignored. Not intentionally ignored but not acted upon either. And that really bothers me. Then after the new year I had another one. So when this one came I was absolutely not going to ignore it. Only it's something I don't know that I can really do anything about and that affects our whole family. I told Clint about the impression that I had received and he seemed supportive but didn't say whether or not he felt anything one way or another about it. So for a whole week I sat there wondering what it was the Lord was trying to tell me or what it was he wanted from me. Because honestly I just didn't/don't see what I can do about this particular feeling/impression I continue to have. And that is extremely frustrating.